i’ve been trying to figure out where to draw the line between certain issues being my fault or everyone else’s. i’ve adviced many people, in the past, to start looking at themselves, if they keep coming up with the same problems. once is a fluke. the 13th or 14th time might be a sign.

there’s a cycle that you enter, where you have no confidence, because nobody has given you any affirmation that you’re worth it, and that ends up being the reason why nobody thinks you’re worth it. this is the reason that the lonely get lonelier. the depressed get more depressed. and, eventually, you have to make your goals more realistic.

i’m actually not just talking about relationships. although, i can talk to you all day about the countless number of people who talk about wanting a certain kind of someone, and make themselves out to be of a whimsical or mysterious nature, only to find that we’re really all the same inside. i told someone this, recently: not all great gifts come in creative packaging.

anyway, i’ve been passed on a number of opportunities which i truly believe would have benefitted from what i have to offer. i’ve been passed on by people who have pre-conceived notions about the opposite gender. and i’ve been passed on. and i’ve been passed on.

and, it starts to take its toll.

this is where i need to re-evaluate what makes me happy. and if i have to make sacrifices and be passed on for the rest of my life, then that’s what i have to do. nothing is going to fall in my lap. my time for that has long passed.