claudio rivera

i’ve had some rough breakups, in my time, but my most recent one has reached incredible heights. with just a few pieces of info, i learned that i was being lied to and lead on to think that nothing was wrong.

in fact, trying to save face, the lies continued, well beyond the breakup. it wasn’t until irrefutible evidence was presented that she recanted, and all hopes of repair were completely gone.

in addition, an attempt to emasculate me unearthed allegations of promiscuity that one would think would bring more shame than pride. whether or not the allegations are true, the mere idea of expanding or exaggerating on an already unfavorable act seems despicably vengeful and heartless.

i’m not proud of the way i handled certain things, and this isn’t something new, for me. when i’m hurt, my coping mechanism becomes anger and desperation. i would even venture to call it immature. but, the circumstances under which these reactions occur can generally be understood to elicit such a response. one can be lied to, and they can respond with anger or fear or even a lie. but, none of those change the original fact–that one was lied to.

so, that’s where i am, right now. trying to cope with the fact that the person i was with didn’t find me attractive, told someone that they were over me, and then continued to be with me–every day, telling me how much they were in love with me. interestingly enough, after she officially ended things with me, she insisted to me that she didn’t want to date and wouldn’t have a boyfriend for a while–all the while, carrying on lengthy conversations with the afformentioned new love interest.

i’m quite sure of what my friends will tell me. they will tell me to get over it and move on. and that’s surely what i’m trying to do. but, i’m also asking for anyone who is a friend of mine to re-evaluate their friendship with my ex. honestly, i don’t think many thought highly of her, to begin with. but, it may certainly help in my healing process to hear that my friends, too, are moving on.

and, just to clarify, i was not the person to whom a recent status update was directed at. i respond to all heartfelt emails. however, i was the person to whom a different recent status update was directed at. according to my ex, she has never loved anyone more than me. strong words, for someone who was conspiring to leave me, unbeknownst to me.

that’s what i’m dealing with. sorry to air my dirty laundry. this is really not my style. but, it had to be said. i’m working on picking up the pieces, now.